December 13, 2007

Just the facts, Maa'm

If you're like me and are getting into arguments about gun control all the time, HERE is a handy resource to have the facts at your fingertips.

89 pages of gun FACTS that can help you counter any GFW's arguments (except, of course, their "fweelings") about the subject.

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Changes in the Catholic Church

I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT! I JUST KNEW THIS WAS COMING

AS THE NEW GERMAN POPE MAKES A FEW CHANGES.....

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Estate Planning

Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, so he decided he
needed a woman to enjoy it with. One evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted
the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a few
years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.

"Impressed, the woman went home with him and, three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men !!!

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Another illness to watch out for...

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A woman calls her boss one morning and tells

him that she is staying home because she is not

feeling well.


'What's the matter?' he asks.


'I have a case of anal glaucoma,' she says in a

weak voice.


'What the hell is anal glaucoma?'

'I can't see my ass coming into work today.

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December 09, 2007

A Different Christmas Poem

My sister sent me this today; I'd seen it before and (I think) posted it before, but we can't be reminded too often to whom we owe our way of life to, especially in this Christmas season.

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

'What are you doing?' I asked without fear,
'Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!'

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said 'Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night.'

'It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,'
Then he sighed, 'That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers.'

My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..

Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall.'
'So go back inside,' he said, 'harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right.'

'But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
'Give you money,' I asked, 'or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son.'

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
'Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.'

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December 07, 2007

Bored, Tubby, Mild....

Hey all me fellow Boomers out there, this will bring a smile to your face....

Thanks for the reminder Sis...

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December 01, 2007

Celebs and the Pols they kiss up to

Pat Sajak tells it like it should truly be....most celebrities ARE truly uniquely UNqualified to be making any sort of political endorsement. They specalize in repeating what writers TELL them to say, just WHAT in that line of work should make their endorsment worth the breath they take? If anything, the WRITERS should be the ones to listen to, if you are sheeple minded..

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Just a little test....

I've seen this a number of times before...heck, I've probably already posted it before, but the classics NEVER go out of style.


Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you determine.

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,
raises the knife and charges at you.

You are carrying a 40 caliber Glock and you are an expert shot. You
have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you
do?

---------------------------------------------

Think carefully, determine what you would do and then scroll
down to compare your answer against the test standards.







Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for
few days and try to come to a consensus.

---------------------------------------------

Republican's Answer:

BANG!


----------------------------------------------


Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver
Tips or Hollow Points?'

Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"

Wife: "You're not takin' that to the Taxidermist


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(hint: In MY world I wouldn't CARE what the wife said, it's MY trophy dammit, and I'll do what I wish with it!)

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November 30, 2007

KKK (Kool Kolored Kids) strike again

Jason Whitlock says it like I would LIKE to, but can't, due to the fact that I'd just be blown off as "just another racist Honky".

I don't always agree with Mr. Whilock, but in this case, I think he's hit the nail square on the head.

Sean Taylor is being mourned as a victim, with any mention of his past labled as "racist" and "blaming the minority". The fact is that we all have to deal with the consequences of our past actions; the real tragedy here is that an innocent 18 month old baby is also having to face consequences as well. She didn't deserve to lose her father before she could really know him, and that is a tragedy that is repeated all too often in the Black community, to the great detriment of us all.

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Moonbats in action in OZ

WHAT is in the water in OZ?!! A town council wants to fine some kids up to $250. each for, get this, PLAYING IN A PARK.

The parents of three families had gotten into the habit of taking their kids to the park after school twice a week to combat "video game spread"....there are stories every day about childhood obesity, and when some parents try to provide wholesome excersize; they get fined for it ?!?

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Globull Wormining -- What DOESN'T it cause?

Dr. John Brignell, a British engineering professor, runs a website called numberwatch

He has compiled what has to be the most complete collection of links to media stories ascribing the cause of everything under the sun to global warming. He has already posted more than six-hundred links.

Here is the page with the complete list of links.

Thanks to the American Thinker for the story.

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R.I.P. Evel Knievel

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Robert Craig "Evel" Knievel, Jr. (October 17, 1938 - November 30, 2007)

Knievel had been in failing health for years, suffering from diabetes and idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, an incurable condition that scarred his lungs. He had undergone a liver transplant in 1999 after nearly dying of hepatitis C, likely contracted through a blood transfusion after one of his bone-shattering spills.

His death comes just two days after it was announced that he and rapper Kanye West had settled a federal lawsuit over the use of Knievel's trademarked image in a popular West music video.

Knievel was the first of two children born to Robert and Ann Knievel. He was born in Butte, Montana. Robert and Ann divorced in 1940, just after the birth of their second child, Nic. Both parents decided to leave Butte and their two children to get a new start. The children were raised by their paternal grandparents, Ignatius and Emma Knievel. At the age of eight, Knievel attended a Joie Chitwood Auto Daredevil Show, which he credits for his later career choice to become a motorcycle daredevil.

Knievel dropped out of high school after his sophomore year and got a job with the Anaconda Mining Company as a diamond drill operator in the copper mines. He was promoted to surface duty where his job was driving a large earth mover. Knievel was fired when he made the earth mover pop a motorcycle-type wheelie and drove it into Butte's main power line, leaving the city without electricity for several hours. With a lot of time on his hands, Knievel began to get into more and more trouble around Butte. After one particular police chase in 1956 in which he crashed his motorcycle, Knievel was taken to jail on a charge of reckless driving. When the night jailer came around to check the roll, he noted Robert Knievel in one cell and William Knofel in the other. Knofel was well known as "Awful Knofel," so Knievel began to be referred to as Evel Knievel. The nickname stuck.

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Knievel was best known for a failed 1974 attempt to jump an Idaho canyon on a rocket-powered cycle and a spectacular crash at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. He suffered nearly 40 broken bones before he retired in 1980.

Evel Knievel led a varied life, being at various times a miner, a fairly resourcefull insurance salesman (he even sold some policies to institutionalized mental patients), a hocky player/team owner , a burgler (it was rumored that he bought his first motorcycle with funds that he "liberated" from the Butte County Courthouse) a motocross rider, and a stunt rider.

He certainly wasn't a saint, indeed, often a sinner, bragidocious, self-promoting and gaudy, but he "did it HIS way" and always to provide for his family, and thats not a bad thing to be remembered for.

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November 29, 2007

Just for grins

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Finally !! someone has been able to photograph the pot at the end of the rainbow!!!

H/T to Catfish

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JUST FOR GRINS

PHONES IN CHURCH

A man in Topeka , Kansas decided to write a book about churches around
the country. He started by flying to
San Francisco and started working east from there.
Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making
notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued
with a sign, which read "Calls: $10,000 a minute." Seeking out the pastor he
asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden
phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk
directly to GOD.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued
to visit churches in Seattle , Dallas , St. Louis , Chicago , Milwaukee , and
around the United States , he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same
answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Kentucky , upon entering a church in Corbin ,
K.y. , behold - he saw the usual golden
telephone. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: 35 cents."

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, "Reverend, I have been in
cities all across the country and in each
church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a
direct line to Heaven and that I c ould talk to GOD, but in the other churches the
cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. Why?"

I love this part.............................


The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Kentucky now
......
You're in God's Country, It's a local call."

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November 28, 2007

Employee Relations

A new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart just couldn't seem to get to work on time.
Every day, he was five, ten, or fifteen minutes late. But, he was a good
worker, real sharp, so the boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it.

Finally, one day, he called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I
have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang up job, but your
being late so often is quite bothersome!"


"Yes, I know Boss, and I'm working on it."


"Well, good -- you're a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd
though, your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Air Force.
What did they say, if you came in late there?"



"They said, Good Morning, General!"


Thanks Catfish!

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November 27, 2007

R.C.O.B. Moment in Merry Old England

When I heard about this incident, I experienced a RCOB moment.

I heartily agree with Adml Lord Boyce, a former head of the Armed Forces, when he said "the women should be "named and shamed".

That anyone can be so dastardly as to treat veterans wounded in the defense of their country in such a manner is totally incomprehensible to me and, I believe, to any normally funtioning human being. How DARE they state that the amputee vets were "scaring the children" and they "didn't belong there" (at the pool).

I am heartily greatful that I wasn't present at the scene, because I would certainly be in jail right now, accused of battery with intent to do great bodily injury; and I would most assuredly be guilty as charged. That the Vets left without so much as a raised voice speaks volumes as to the quality of their charactor.

I know it doesn't mean diddly to them, but this is one "Colonial" that offers them a huge "Thank You for your Service" and all the best of luck in their future recovery.

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Wisdom from the back pew

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby, so he went before
the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they
passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his
paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation
decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There
was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional
children were costing the church.

Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, "Children are a
gift from God," he said.

Silence fell on the congregation.

After several embarrassing seconds had past, a little old lady seated in
the back pew, stood up and in her frail voice said, "Rain is also a gift
from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."


H/T to SlagleRock

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November 24, 2007

Just because....

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Showing off? HELL YEAH !

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Just feel'n GOOD and ready to Ride

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Meet me on the highway and let's just feel the joy of the open road with the wind in our hair.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket To Chrissie, for her spectacular art

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Excessive Force ?

WHY COPS SHOOT GUYS WITH KNIVES.

In my twelve years of service as a LEO, there was one issue that (rightfully) arose on a fairly steady basis, and that issue concerned the use of force in effecting an arrest. On many occasions the public would make a great outcry when they had the perception that an Officer used greater force than was necessary. "The perpretrator was only armed with a 4" knife" they will say, "WHY did the officer feel it necessary to shoot and end up killing the suspect?"

It's easy for the armchair quarterback to pass judgement on an Officer's actions in the calm safety of his Barcalounger with a cold beer and potato chips close to hand and the game of the week playing on the 60 inch screen.

Having "been there, done that" (thankfully without a fatality), I can assure you from personal experience that when you are facing some crazy jackass that is NOT going to come in a peaceful manner; indeed, is willing to do just about ANYTHING to prevent you from taking him/her into custody, the situation can get ugly/deadly in the blink of an eye.

The photos below are of an officer highly trained trained in hand-to-hand combat.

The officer figured, due to his size and fighting skills, he could
disarm a knife wielding aggressor.

To all the idiots out there who always say, "Why did the cops have
to shoot him? He only had a (insert your choice of weapons here,
i.e . knife, bat, club. whatever). He didn't have to be shot.

To that, I respond, "tough crap".

If an officer tells you to drop your weapon, just drop it.
If you're a retard, stupid, on crack, mental or just "scared" ...too damned bad.

No one deserves what this cop got for just doing his job.

This is vivid proof of how deadly people who are "only armed with a
knife" can be. Some of the public think that officers should try to
disarm someone armed with a knife but anyone who has had training
in knife fighting will tell you - even if you win you are going to
get cut.

The perpretrator in this case got scared and ran away before he managed to kill the officer and was arrested at a later date.

Look at the pictures below the fold the next time that you are tempted to jump to a knee-jerk reaction against "excessive force", find out the facts and then try to put yourself in the same situation and ask yourself "what would I have done?".


WARNING!!! Explicit photos ... more...

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Subject: Translation

An Amish farmer was walking through his field, & noticed a man drinking from his pond, with his hand.


The Amish man shouted: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen." Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows have shit in it."


The man shouted back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English."

The Amish man said: "Use two hands. You'll get more."

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